Problems and Control

Yes, I believe problems of all three phases can be addressed responsibly-if there is communication.

Communication is key.  I understand this because sometimes I am good at it, and sometimes I am terrible and then I think the problem is out of control.  That is because I am not asking for help or advice.

There are times when I might think there is a major problem, but nobody else does because I have not shared what is going on. 

People are meant to interact and be in group settings.  It is usually always better to have more than one person come up with a solution.

Also, I heard this saying once-it is not a problem unless I make it one. 

Problems can be resolved responsibly when people act accordingly.

# 12 Right? Responsibilty?

I am responsible when I am held accountable-for myself or by others.  I have accepted the fact I am committed and I have an obligation.

A right, is a privilege to do something.  I have been granted permission out of the norm and am allowed.

I am not entitled to rights, I am entitled to being responsible.  Primarily for myself.

#11 Lead? Follow?

I do both.  I believe both are essential to survival.  I do enjoying being responsible and leading, but I also have had really good teachers that allowed me to follow and at times take the lead.

I believe in any society or relationship it is essential to lead and be able to listen to others.  I had a mentor tell me recently that being a good listener allowed for better communication skills, which builds leadership.

For me it is essential to know the cause that I am leading or being lead into.  That will also determine the position I take.  There are a lot of things I know nothing about but am willing to follow someone I trust to learn.

# 10 cont...

I would like to learn to love to listen.  Practicing listening would be ideal in my life.  I am practicing listening and I will be honest, it is hard.

I know I could learn to love it, if I could learn to accept how much it would help me communicate.  I just get caught up in the fact that it seems like I am not doing anything or saying anything and then it hits me, that is practicing listening.  Then of course I will quit practicing and go and comment, or interrupt, or suggest and I have to work on making time to practice.

When I do practice and it goes well, I really learn a lot.  So, I believe it will be best if I practice regularly and actively and I may learn to love it!  That is my goal.  I will practice listening and love it.

# 10 Practice.....

Hello.
When I was younger, like in my teens, twenties and thirties, I LOVED, to practice Basketball.  I lived for it and love it.  I still love it, but I do not practice it anymore.  Life took a change and I can no longer play.

I lived for basketball.  It kept me sane, in school, and out of trouble.  It afforded me many awards and rewards.  I went to college on scholarship and enjoyed a privileged part of life because I loved it so much and practiced all the time. 

I would be in the gym at midnight.  I practiced to get better and because there was nothing I would rather do than play ball.  What I never anticipated was what I would do when I could not play anymore.  I got angry and did not pick something healthy to replace all that time.

I am grateful for the people that would practice with me because when I quit being angry I remember a coach from the Portland Trailblazers telling me "Don't Quit".  I took that all wrong in the beginning, but now I realize that things change and I can practice other things in life with the same zest.  I just have to be willing to find out what stirs that passion the same way.

At this time it is meditation.  It is pretty cool and I am learning to love to practice meditating.  It is amazing to go to the gym and meditate.  This is something I can take anywhere, and I look forward to learning what I will love to practice again. 

# 9 Where am I wrong?

Good Afternoon,

I am wrong when I am not responsible, or I do not hold myself accountable-and then I lie about it. 

I believe my honesty truly starts with myself and nobody else.  Most people do not know or care about what I do, but internally I know and eventually it will surface.  I think that is true of the majority of mankind.  We have an internal true direction.  An internal right and True North to do the correct action.

When we do not follow it as an individual, there is turmoil.  As a group we become chaotic.  No society can exist long in that state.

I used to have this long set of rules.  I tried to live by other's dictates.  I began to seriously resent it as I got older and became very self-righteous and figured I had the money and the means I would do as I pleased.  That only worked for so long.  I paid a consequence and was expected to be compliant.  It still took me a while to accept my "wrongness" and until I did I was not changing.

Today I check my intent and my awareness in situations.  I am a selfish person.  I want what is best for me, but I also am a team player and I want what is best for others.  For me that is owning my own shit.  I may not like it, but when I own that I am wrong I learn the most and that is not by me doing whatever I please whenever.

So if I am wrong, it may take a minute, but I will accept it and own it and do what I can to make the situation right.  It is learning for me.

#8 Future

Yes, I agree with the idea that my future is up to me.  I know I have to do the work to get where I want to go, I also have learned I have to have a vision or a goal.

I am the kind of person that truly believes in the Law of Attraction and the Universe will provide.  The Universe is massive and it will give me exactly what I put out there.  I believe I have learned this the hard way and the accepting way.  I hear that saying that Karma is a witch.  Karma is what I make it.

To say I do not know, I need help, and to communicate is a way for me to go forward, but I have to also be able to talk about what I want.

Three years ago I had a chance to go back to work in the field I love-mining.  I blew it, literally, I got a DUI.  It has taken me three years to get back into that field.

At first I was pitiful, then angry, then resentful and I got all of that ten-fold.  When I quit blaming others because I like to drink and just accepted I can do it anymore, my life started to turn around.
The gifts are unreal.  I am in school, my relationships are wonderful, and I have the beginning of a new career.  I am responsible for my behavior and my dreams. 

To be happy and have a "clear" direction the possibilities are endless.  I could not dream as big as I could drink.  Today I KNOW the sky is the limit.  Just a little effort goes a long ways.  I read somewhere that 20% effort yields 80% results.  True.

#5 Breaking Rules

For me I have to recognize if I am breaking a moral/value internal rule, or a man-made rule.  I believe in living by my personal integrity. 

 I do not like rules.  I do not like other people expecting me to live by their designed rules.  I do believe in ethics and that there is a general sense of right and wrong.  We learn by our mistakes, and successes.  We learn by ourselves and with others.  It is a process.  Rules in are regulations.

I have broken many rules.  I have not always got caught but in a clear conscious I should have.  If we are willing to break rules we have to accept the consequences.  I believe that change and trying something out of the norm can open huge doors.  It may not always fit well, but the beauty of being human and learning from our past and others is we can adjust. 

I believe most people have an internal direction that guides them.  It may become weak and get confused, but human beings are resilient they will come back if they have a support and direction.
Just as rules are implemented and supported people need and want support. 

Education, life, and a general idea of free will allows us to break the rules, but we ought to remember than when one rule is gone, another one replaces it.  Hopefully they (the rules) work for the good of all and not just a few.

# 4 World to be....

I want the world to be different because I help create a legacy, a vision.

My passion for work is the mining industry.  I love the earth.  I also care about people and have learned that we can get lost on the streets and within ourselves.  I want to create something, a place that can help people find their way back to HOPE.

The mining industry provides a lucrative life, where I want to go it will be even more so.  I can live on minimal amounts of money, with the excess I want to build this vision that will house, educate, and provide a safe environment with opportunities of joy and freedom.  I want it to nurture the light of HOPE.

I get that this sounds completely humanitarian, I dig that.  The process of creating it and sustaining this vision is idealistic and completely doable.  I have seen it from both sides, possibly multi-dimensional and the reality is it is possible. 

I hope others will add.  This is how I want the world to be different in one way.

# 7 Different

How do I want to be different because I lived in this world?

I want to be different by growing, learning, and giving back.  I spent so much of my youth feeling entitled if I worked for something it was mine and none of your business, because I thought it was such a dog eat dog place.

I had a lot of accomplishments and by others standards success.  I just kept wanting more and cared less.  Then life took a real turn and I experienced a shift.  Nothing means anything if I don't give back.  I created my dog-eat-dog environment when I got older and it sucked.

Today I learn from others.  I have empathy.  I know less today than I did yesterday, yet my life is fuller and has much more meaning and worth.  I can see the value in others today.  That is a pretty good sight.

I want to leave this world better than when I got here.  Physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially.  I can do my part to recycle and care about the environment, therefor leaving a place to live in the future.  I can share my story truthfully and that allows me to heal, accept myself, and let others know that they are not alone.  For a long time I thought I was the only person who grew up the way I did.  I want better for myself and others.

I am willing to do what it takes and that means participating in life and I learn by watching others.  Actions are louder than words, I believe there are more people who care about what they do and give than who they are.  I want to be different because I care and know that others care.

Where should I break the rules?  Wherever I am willing to pay the consequences.

I believe in my personal integrity.  I know right from wrong, and if I am willing to justify my actions by breaking the rules of society or my moral code then I better be willing to pay the price.

I have made these decisions in the past.  I felt I was entitled to do what I wanted as I pleased.  I paid a price.  I was incarcerated.  I lost my self-respect and that of my peers.  It was all do to drinking.  I did not care.

Finally somebody did step into my life and gave me not only HOPE, but advice.  Follow the rules, all the rules, unless you want to pay the price.  It is easy enough.  There is nothing in instant gratification that is as satisfying as being able to look myself in the mirror and know I am doing the best I can today.

It may not meet others standards, but I am living by my morals.

Who's fault?

I find it so easy to blame 'time' on my issues in school.  Not enough-time.  In truth I have been terrible at planning and I have allowed other things to consume my time.

I used to blame my Mother for so much.  Today, I am given the opportunity to spend time with her and I will be truthful, I have not coordinated my time for school versus her.  I know there is a price, but I also cherish the time with her.  I had to make a decision and I did.  My school work is showing.

Also, my job and the additional hours I work.  I am working on learning to balance, but I don't know that I am doing so well.  I am a procrastinator.  I plan, but don't quite have the organization down.

Responsibility to me is being accountable.  I have to own my choices.  I am the one who decides what I will do and I get to weigh the costs.  Ultimately I know my grades may suffer, but I lost my mom once.  I am being given a second chance and I do not know how much time there is, therefor I will spend quality time with her and learn to take advantage of the rest my time to be responsible and prioritize.

I realize this is closed, but I can comment today.

I want the world to be different because I lived in it by the fact that I have and continuously learn to give more than I take.  I honestly have not always had this attitude.  I have 'thought' that I did, but I am selfish.

Because of that selfishness I have paid a price.  My life got to the point I lost all dignity and hope.  Thank-God, there were others that cared when I did not.  They have taught me the simplest things and for that I am forever grateful.

Today I get to work and can afford the simple things of being able to tip a waitress well, knowing they make less than 3.00$ an hour.  These are things that did not cross my mind in the past.  Having been in those shoes, I understand the difficulties have making ends meet.

My goal is to give back.

Gerri Fleckk

TODAY: A working student-working on making it.

---

I am the kind of student that you just don't know if she will make it.

I start out with great intentions, I love learning, but something will happen and I freak out. I am still learning how to ask for help, and communicate when I am having problems. I have this personality of it is all or nothing. I treasure that concept of a "happy medium." Needless to say, I have not found my treasure.

My Successes

Sholarship for Basketball to go to college

• I did well in school and loved sports. Somehow they balanced.
• I stayed committed and it paid off the first twenty years of my life.
• Life changed-I shifted and decided I wanted more. I started in a new career. Now I am back in college, working more on learning-than just working.

  My Likes

  • I like that when I wake up I see the sun, moon and stars. What a gift. (it's a long story)
  • I like the fact that I do wake up. (that's another long story)
  • I like the people in my life that support me and even the ones that doubt me. I realize that is just another form of competition for me. I need that competition- and am only beginning to grow up enough to realize I am my own competition every day.
  • I like this guy that is my neighbor-but I don't really think he fits into my shool, work schedule. I really did try to make a spreadsheet and give him time, but he says my schedule sucks. So I am pretty sure he is deleted.
  • I really love my dog and cat. They adjust well to all my schedules. Eating sleeping, just going outside and watching the sky. They dig it. I will keep them.

  What I want to do, when I find this treasure.

  I want to keep working and going to school, but accept that I can probably show up to class, pay attention, do my homework and will be alright.

  I will definetly keep my dog and cat. Much simpler than the complicated neighbor.

  I want to still wake up and find the stars,feel the sunshine, and enjoy the moon. "

  I just want to be a healthier and better Gerri today, than I was yesterday. "yeah!!"

Gerri L. Fleck

The seeker and doer.

---

The person I am, I am always searching and looking for something that is going to change my life for the better.

I enjoy traveling, which includes flying. I like new, bright and shiny things that sometimes hold my interest for a while, and other times-just a splint second. Except my work. I love the mining industry and it is a dark wold at times. Just as a crow can fly to enormous heights, I can go underground thousands of feet. It is a thrill and an honor.

My Accomplishments

I like the crow because depending on who you talk to you will get a different perspective.

• I was an athlete and went to college on a basketball scholarship.
  
• I was an above average student.
  
• I had friends in all the groups and always wore black. That way I did not have to worry if it matched.
  
• My friends and family have usually supported me, but have warned that I may have to eat crow in my life time. They were right, and no matter how you serve it, it is a humbling experience when I am responsible and hold myself accountable.)

My Passions

• Always looking for Mr. right and manage to find the wrong duck. (it's a long story)
  
• MY work. Especially mining. Right now I audit. Who would have ever thought I would be in charge of others books making sure they add up??
• My little bro. Although he is 6'2" and about 250#. I am pretty sure I can take him, and will certainly keep him.
• Ruth

What my friends say about me

Spock: "Independent and caring. "

Dr. McCoy: "Boyfriends say bossy and demanding!"

"Mel and lil- Bill well they just say I am mess."

But that I am flying straight. "and that there is always HOPE!! Have a beautiful day."

Assignment #2/?? am I doing?

Hello!!

Yes for school. No for work.

I registered again for school-last semester after stepping away for 20 years.  I reached a stagnate point and twenty years is a long time to not learn what I could.  School is giving me this opportunity as well as a new life style.  I had to do some growing up.

As for my work, I really enjoy auditing and cannot believe I am involved with customer service and financial records, but I am in a dead end job.  The company is excellent and the owners are caring.  There is a ceiling and I truly believe I have reached it-there.

Being more involved with others and being back in school, and a few other changes I now see that I can take all this with me and go forward where the sky is the limit.  It is in my life today as long as I keep applying what I have learned.  Even in that twenty year hiatus.  I set my own limitations.  I can challenge myself today to be a better and more productive person than I was yesterday.

I am liking and accept what I am doing today.  I can see it building my tomorrow, yet today is good.